frat boys and she-devils
by ThatMaddyBee
Summary: In which Sakura is Deidara's girlfriend, Sasori's sister, Tobi's idol, Hidan's desire, Kisame's partner in crime and the bane of Itachi's existence. Them all living together would probably end with a blown up house, several trips to the hospital and at least one of them fleeing the country. But they could try make it work. AU, modern world, college.
1. prologue: farewell normality

**_frat boys and she-devils_**

 _prologue:_ farewell normality

* * *

At Suna University, it was safe to say that Sakura had an average student life. She studied on weekdays, drank on Saturdays and slept on Sundays, a safe cycle that she had repeated for the last two years of her Medicine course. It was only as she was beginning her third year that her life hit a snag.

The day had started normally enough, with her downing an extra strong caramel latte on her way to the very first lecture of the year, chatting happily with her roommate Ino about the boys that had moved in opposite them. What they hadn't expected was that as they sat in their lecture hall, the Dean of the University would take the podium and inform them that their Sensei, Orochimaru, had been removed from the staff and would no longer be able to lead their course. They were told that a new professor was being found immediately, but until then, they were on a study break.

It was two hours before the word spread that Orochimaru hadn't actually been sacked, but arrested for using the Universities labs as an underground drug ring.

It was three hours before Sakura received a call from her father informing her that he, as a member of the University Board, had just been told who exactly the new professor leading her course was, and that there was no way in hell she was staying to be taught by _a perverted mad-man who thinks that mentally scarring kids is an effective teaching method._

It was six hours before her father, using his incredible influence and suspicious, yet impressive, haggling skills managed to have her and her scholarship transferred to another university. Konoha University to be exact.

And it was seven hours before she gave up arguing with her dad and sent a pleading text to her brother:

 _So you know how I'm your fave little sister ever? Don't suppose you still have that spare room…? :)_

* * *

A/N - I know this is a totally unbelievable situation but how she gets there isn't important, I just needed an excuse to have her suddenly transfer universities without being able to use the easy 'her parents were moving so she got dragged with them thing'. Also, this is only this short because it's a prologue, the chapters that follow are way longer, promise!


	2. chapter 1: sibling's ideas of affection

**_frat boys and she-devils_**

 _chapter 1_ : sibling's ideas of affection

* * *

Sakura's relationship with Sasori was definitely a weird one. They were half-siblings who shared a dad, a dog and a house that they were only ever in at the same time twice a year - Christmas and a few weeks in summer. But despite the little time they spent together in recent years, they were close. With only a two-year age gap and a shared love for sarcastic humour, they were siblings who would rather constantly insult each other instead of admitting how closely they had each others backs. Because at the end of the day, he was her big brother, and he was always looking out for her.

A beep sounded from her pocket and she checked the text on her phone, shoulders instantly drooping as a pout hit her face.

 _No._

Ok, so maybe he wasn't a loving brother and was just a complete asshole. With a huff, Sakura sent another text that included pleads, guilt-tripping and threats of bodily harm. One of them had to work right? Maybe. Meanwhile, she had other issues to deal with. Like the blonde roommate who was currently laid out on her bed, wailing about how nothing would ever be the same again and the world was an unfair bitch.

"Ino, babe, I'm going to miss you too but I'm pretty sure me leaving doesn't mean you have to become a stripper."

Finally pausing in her rant, Ino lifted shining blue eyes to the pinkette and looked at her like she was a fucking idiot. "Uh, hello, yes it does. Without you here, I'll be too depressed to work so I'll fail my course then I'll flunk out of uni and the only thing I'll have going for me will be my super hot body you _selfish bitch"._

Oh good, sarcastic, aggressive Ino was out to play.

"Look, I don't want to go - believe me, I don't - but Tsunade is the course convener at KU, if I study under her she is the key to me achieving my dream. She used to be one of the top brain surgeons in all of Konoha, and she's been my idol ever since I first learnt what the hell a hypothalamus was. I have to go," Sakura tried to reason, picking at the corner of her blanket to avoid the penetrating stare that was being thrown her way. "It's not that far anyway, once I actually have somewhere to live, you can come stay. After all, someone has to help me move in."

She finished with a cheeky grin at the blonde, praying that she could cheer her best friend up. Ino's eyes softened and a reluctant smile twisted her lips.

"Come on then, you better get packing. And make sure you take my burgundy top that looks annoyingly good on you, god knows you need all the help you can get with drawing attention away from that massive forehead."

Sakura really, really loved her best friend sometimes.

It had taken hours of texting, and the promise of her car becoming his when she, in his words, inevitably killed herself after spending five minutes with the freaks he for some reason called friends. Sasori had always been one for comforting words of support and sympathy.

However, part of Sakura feared he was right. She knew most of his housemates, and saying that they were a weird bunch was an understatement. They were all fourth-years at Konoha University, and Sakura had actually met most of them when she was 13 and they were 15 and they convinced her to watch a horror film that had her unable to sleep for weeks. Now, seven years later, she was much more accustomed to dealing with them. They had constantly been coming and going from her house over the summers, and had actually started acknowledging her as more than 'Sasori's weird little sister' in the last few years. She reckoned that they could get along fine.

Kisame, a marine biologist, was probably the most reassuring. Despite him being an intimidating, 6ft3, solid wall of muscle, he was nice to her in a teasing way. He also enjoyed watching her make a drunken fool of herself though, so she had to be careful. Hidan was slightly more of a concern as he had the tendency to completely bypass the rules surrounding friend's little sisters, and saw it as some sort of personal challenge to seduce her. But even this had it's pros - after all, she only had to wear a tight top and make direct eye contact with him and he'd buy her all the booze she wanted. Tobi was a newer addition that she had never met and heard little about, but she would give him the benefit of the doubt - which she would probably learn to regret, but oh well. Then there was Itachi, the older brother of one of her best friends, and her first crush. Which would be ok if she wasn't 100% certain that he knew this and found it highly amusing. In order to try and stop the blush that flooded her cheeks every time he entered the room, last summer she had taken a leaf out of Kisame's book and turned to mercilessly aggravating the older Uchiha until he wanted to bash his head against the wall.

It was one of the greater joys of her life.

This left Deidara. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed artist that she had been disgustingly crushing on for the past year. The fact that she was so physically attracted to someone who looked so similar to her best friend only mildly disturbed her, and she tried hard not to think about it too much. Deidara was everything that Sakura did, but shouldn't, look for in a guy. He was talented enough to be egotistical and have it just scrape the edge of acceptable behaviour. He was loud and had no inhibitions, and with his obsession with pyrotechnics and adrenaline rushes, he was almost definitely going to get her into serious trouble if she ever pursued anything with him. But god did she love that thrill. Ino had always said she had a worryingly self-destructive thing for bad boys. But underneath all of that, Deidara was an artist. He was funny, and curious and had a smile that could melt hearts and smirk that could make Sakura more aroused than anything else ever. And sometimes, she could kid herself that he returned these feelings.

Like over the last Christmas break when Sasori had them all - bar Tobi - come stay for a weekend and they had all gotten drunk together while their father took Sasori's mum out for a romantic cruise. At one point, Sakura had stumbled to the kitchen in search of a bigger wine glass and had instead ended up sitting on her back porch with the bottle, staring at the night sky. Deidara had, unexpectedly, come looking for her. Instead of just leaving her drunken ass there for her brother to scrape off the floor later, he sat with her and threw a blanket round her bare shoulders. They had talked in hushed tones about things she couldn't remember, but she could remember the heat of his body as they sat with sides touching. She could remember the way he had slowly turned his face to hers and the way time had stopped as their breath mingled visibly in the cold air.

She could also clearly remember the sudden crash that came from Hidan knocking over a bar stool in the kitchen behind them, effectively ruining the moment and ensuring his place at the top of Sakura's Murder List.

Since then, Deidara had seemed slightly wary around her, as if he suddenly realised what was happening and how badly things could go for him if anyone else found out. So they had kept it friendly and nothing else. But now they were going to live together.

Maybe this hadn't been her best idea ever.

The house was quiet, and instantly Sakura was on edge.

If there was one thing she had expected from this move, peace and quiet was definitely not it. But with the engine of her red Camry convertible now switched off, she suddenly felt quite out of her depth. She definitely should have listened to Ino and gone to breakfast with her rather than come straight here. Sending off a quick message to let Sasori know she was there, she inspected the house. It was old and tall, an off-white exterior with a dark wood porch and a peeling blue door. The driveway held a beaten up Toyota she didn't recognise and a black motorbike she knew to be Sasori's. The garden out front wasn't a garden, it was an overgrown patch of weeds with an assortment of beer cans spread across it rather than flowers. Charming.

At the sound of groaning wood behind her, Sakura turned to see her brother stood in the doorway, wearing pyjamas, bed hair and a sleepy scowl. Grinning brightly, Sakura did the only reasonable thing - propelled herself into his crossed arms and clung to his neck until he was forced to reluctantly pat her back twice in order to ever be released.

"So, how happy are you to see me? Aren't you so super excited to have your darling little sister moving in with you?"

Her only reply was a glare. Not that this would dishearten Sakura, who had not only grown up with him, but also had an Uchiha as a close friend and so was used to people trying to burn her alive with only a stare on a daily basis. When she simply stood smiling at the redhead, he sighed and turned to open the door wider for her in invitation.

"Your key's not cut yet, you'll get it tomorrow. This is the living room-"

He pointed left to a large room that held three couches and a tv, several game consoles laying around in various states of abuse.

"The kitchen and dining room are there-" she stuck her head into a kitchen that was comfortingly clean looking before being brought back to the bottom of the stairs, where Sasori gestured to a closed door.

"This is my room, upstairs is Hidan, Tobi, Itachi and their bathroom and the top floor is you, Deidara, Kisame and your bathroom. All the contracts and stuff are on your bed, and the others are sleeping so they'll appear at some point. Right now I'm going back to bed, you really didn't have to turn up this early you know."

With that, he turned on the spot and strode into his room, leaving Sakura alone in the hall with a heavy feeling of bewilderment. The door then opened again and Sasori's head popped out.

"First door on the right," he said, before his door snapped shut.

Determining that that was all she was going to get from her darling brother, she tightened her hold on the strap of her duffle and crept up the stairs. As she passed closed doors she could hear snores and mumbles behind most, bar from one. Her new room.

It was a decent size, with pale blue walls and large windows that kept the room light. The double bed looked relatively new, and the furniture was all in decent condition. For how little she was paying, she had expected much worse. Sitting lightly on the edge of the bed, she looked around again and was hit with a wash of sadness as she thought of the dorm room she had left behind. She really wished Ino hadn't of had that family thing and had been able to come with her, she could have done with her snappy, loud attitude right then.

But she was fine. She knew these guys, she could handle them. And if she couldn't, Naruto and Sasuke were moving in the rest of her furniture and belongings in a couple of days and she could beg them to help her find somewhere new to live that held less crazy occupants. Like a crack den. Or an asylum.

Sighing slightly, she stood once more and decided to stop moping and start moving in. The sooner the room felt like hers the better. With this new found determination she strode forwards and flung the door open, only to be drawn straight into a deep blue gaze and a soft smile.

"Hey roomie, need a hand moving in?"

* * *

A/N - the way I tend to write is that I have vague ideas about things I want to happen but no real overlying story arc, so writers block will almost definitely happen, and if things don't add up later on with what I've said earlier in the series, then let me know!


	3. chapter 2: bolts are apparently vital

_**frat boys and she-devils**_

 _chapter 2_ : apparently bolts are a necessity

* * *

Deidara was exhausting.

He was loud and chaotic, arrogant and persistent. But despite this, he put her at ease. She had never felt so comfortable, so like herself, around anyone else. It surprised her how easily she fell back into a comfortable friendship with him, and after a tight hug that lasted only a couple of seconds longer than was probably appropriate, he followed her down to the car and started hauling boxes.

He had clearly just woken up, clad in a white t-shirt and jogging bottoms with bare toes peeking out underneath. His hair was messy and loose round his shoulders, but his eyes were bright and his face was relaxed into a dopey smile rather than his patented dangerous smirk. She had missed that smile.

He was chattering on about nothing much as they trailed up and down the stairs, her speaking in low tones as to avoid waking anyone else. Of course this was pointless as Deidara didn't give a shit about social rules, and the second he stubbed his toe he began cursing at the top of his lungs. Sakura had to lean back against her bed, a hand clapped over her mouth to try to smother the giggles prompted by the blonde who was now hopping round her room, clutching his foot.

"Only been here five minutes and already you're making him fall over himself trying to impress you," joked a voice from the door.

Turning on the spot as she managed to control her laughter, she spotted a similarly obnoxious grin on Kisame's angular face. His bright eyes trailed down her, taking in her black skinnies and navy tee with an appreciative whistle.

"Looking good there Pinkie," he supplied with an over-exaggerated wink. Sakura merely rolled her eyes as an amused smirk tugged at her lips and she walked forward to hug the man.

Leaning back once more to look up at his face, she replied "You're not looking too bad yourself there Ariel, still rocking those abs of steel I see."

This was supplied with a sharp slap to his stomach which brought a slight grunt and an affectionate hair ruffle from the shirtless man.

Leaning back against the door frame and crossing his arms, he scoffed before saying with a smirk, "You're just upset that your scrawny ass could never get themselves a specimen as fine as me."

Hands on her hips and enjoying the playful banter, Sakura opened her mouth to retort when a cough sounded out from behind them. Both turned towards the blonde, who had stopped hopping around on one foot and was now stood glaring at Kisame with his fists in his pockets.

"Sorry to interrupt, but whenever you guys are finished, there are more boxes to bring up," he ordered with a slight pout, clearly miffed at being ignored. He pushed forward between the two and headed down the stairs, missing the amused eye roll that they shared behind his back.

Luckily for Deidara, Kisame was a dick, but he wasn't a complete asshole. He dropped the play-flirting quickly, and after carting a couple of the heavier boxes, he left the two alone in her room again as he went to make a start on breakfast before the others awoke.

Sakura was digging through a suitcase for a hoodie when from behind her came a low whistle of appreciation.

"This is one fancy fucking camera. How the hell did you afford this?" He questioned, awe clear in his voice. In his hands, cradled with care that was surprising coming from him, was her baby. The Canon was her most prized possession, and it meant more to her than her car.

"That is the product of three summer jobs, a lot of car washing and money saved from several birthdays," she replied, watching closely as he started fiddling with the many buttons. Sensing her stare, he looked up and caught her eye, throwing her a cheeky grin.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to throw it across the room, stop looking so terrified."

She wouldn't admit aloud that she was extremely nervous seeing her most prized possession in the hands of a man who enjoyed making things blow up and who earlier had tripped over his own feet.

As if sensing the protective instinct that was coming over her, he carefully placed the camera back in its case - but not without shooting her a look that read as ' _really?'_

The house was clearly waking up around them as doors opened and closed and the shower next to her room turned on. Despite the noises, it still took a couple of seconds before they broke eye contact and Deidara started towards the door.

"Come on, Kisame makes kick-ass waffles but you need to get there early or Itachi and Hidan will demolish them in seconds."

With that, he left Sakura alone in her room, surrounded by boxes of her possessions. With a slight sigh at how much work she had to do, a quick mirror check was all she needed before she followed the blonde downstairs, eager to be reunited with the rest of the weirdos that she would now come to call her housemates.

* * *

Cheerful whistling and the sizzling of a pan reached Sakura's ears as she entered the kitchen and hoisted herself up on to the table. Swinging her legs, she watched in amusement as Kisame played the part of housewife, right down to the bright pink spatula he was currently wielding in his hand. Deidara was bent over, rooting around in the fridge, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't allow herself a glance at his ass.

Ok so maybe it was slightly more than a glance.

Then, before she could register what was happening, a loud cry of "SAKURA-CHAN!" rang out, and suddenly she was no longer looking down at a perfectly fine ass, but up at a cracked ceiling.

"Tobi, what the fuck are you doing, you idiot?" Ground out Deidara as the weight on top of her was mercilessly ripped off and shoved away. It took Sakura a couple of blinks to clear her head before she reached for Kisame's outstretched hand and was tugged to her feet with ease. "So, that's Tobi," he smiled before turning back to the stove.

Said boy was currently cowering against the table, crying out apologies into the wood as Deidara scowled and stalked back across the room. She took the opportunity to get her first look at her attacker, and was met by the classic dark hair and eyes of an Uchiha. He also had the whole 'tall and pale with a face so angular you could cut yourself on those cheekbones' thing that she associated with the clan. It was clear that he was more from Shisui's side of the family than Sasuke's as he was actually showing emotions, something she was pretty sure Fugaku had found a way to genetically remove from his sons.

The sudden appearance of Itachi himself had her - not for the first time - questioning his telepathic abilities.

"Sakura, good to see you again," he greeted smoothly, that smirk that he always had around her on his face - the one that said _I know every embarrassing thing you've ever said or done and I'm not afraid to share them._ To be perfectly honest, Itachi scared the shit out of Sakura.

"Tobi's sorry Sakura-chan, he didn't mean to hurt you, honest!" Tobi exclaimed, grabbing her hands in a tight grip as he stared at her with the most pathetic looking puppy eyes she'd ever seen. And God was she a sucker for pretty eyes.

"Don't be silly, you didn't hurt me," she reassured with a smile, "it's nice to meet you finally, Tobi."

The boy instantaneously perked up and beamed at her, chirping a quick "you too Sakura-chan!" before he had leapt across the room to hover over Kisame's elbow. Catching Itachi's eye, she threw him a slightly nervous smile as both attempted to ignore the way Deidara had his eyes narrowed on the dark-haired man, jaw clenched tightly.

Picking up on the slight tension in the air, Kisame tactfully started serving up breakfast with loud conversation on the latest episode of Game of Thrones and Sakura could honestly say she had never loved the man more. Seated next to Deidara and across from Itachi, she could only pray that Sasori would appear soon to break the tension. Or Hidan - uniting the pair over their shared hatred for the silver-haired man was likely the only way she was going to survive being in the same room as Deidara's jealousy for more than 5 minutes.

And who would have thought that Hidan's presence could ever make a situation better?

* * *

They say you learn something new everyday. Today, Sakura learnt that Deidara in sunglasses, driving her convertible, was infuriatingly sexy. Something about how casual he looked, with one hand on the wheel and the other leaning on the door, was super alluring and she didn't know why but it wasn't fair. She blamed the car.

It was a sexy car.

Leaving the house for a bit seemed to have the desired effect on the blonde, who now appeared to be comfortably at ease and back to his infuriating, cocky self rather than the quietly seething idiot who had been practically growling at Itachi all throughout breakfast. He'd taken the bait and had been the one to offer to show her to the nearest supermarket so she could stock up. After the failure of Hidan appearing or a sudden, strategically placed nuclear strike, she had had to make a quick getaway to avoid suffocating on testosterone.

Ever the gentleman, Deidara parked up and immediately wandered straight into the store, leaving Sakura to go and find the carts alone. She rolled her eyes and wondered why she always went for the jerks. Especially when her current choice of jerk came back with a case of beers that he threw in the cart with a devilish grin.

She fixed him with a blank stare. "I'm so not paying for this," she clarified. His grin didn't fall though, and he followed her around as she shopped, occasionally reaching for the stuff on the top shelves for her - though not without teasing her brutally, of course.

"I always forget how short you are. Like a pixie or something," he mocked, patting her head heavily as if she were a child. "So are you allowed on the inflatables at the pool or have you still got another couple of inches to go?"

A swift elbow to the ribs had him doubling up with an 'oof.' Stalking off, she threw a sly grin over her shoulder at the man who was watching her from his hunched position.

"You'd know all about a couple of inches, wouldn't you Deidara?" she questioned innocently, throwing the now-blushing man a saucy wink as he spluttered.

"Hey! I'm packing way more than a few inches, you little pink-haired brat!"

This loud statement was met with a horrified silence from the surrounding shoppers, who froze to stare at the suddenly-pale man. As an older woman threw Deidara a dirty glare, Sakura could only laugh and walk away to leave the man to fend for himself. And as she did so, she couldn't help but wonder, _just how many inches?_

She was so going to hell.

* * *

Despite the commotion he had caused, Deidara was not one for embarrassment, and with a wink towards the old woman on his left he quickly escaped the rant he was receiving from a 'disgusted parent' and caught up with the slightly hysterical pinkette. Hysterics that didn't let up until they had gone home, packed away her shopping, and he left to lock himself away in his room before he murdered her for being so damn happy. With only the odd chuckle now escaping her, she headed up the stairs and entered her room - where her laughs instantly stopped and were replaced with the question "what the fuck are you doing, you perv?!"

On her bed, with his hands in her duffle, was Hidan.

"Good to see you too, Kitten!" was her answer, as his violet eyes didn't even look up from what he was doing. Too stunned to react, Sakura simply stood and gaped at him as he continued searching through her belongings. This silence continued for several long seconds before he held up a lacy, lilac bra and fixed her with a stare and a lecherous grin.

"This is cute," he stated, and his smirk only deepened before his eyes dropped to linger on her chest.

"But I bet it-"

He didn't get any further as suddenly he was pinned face down on her bed with a mouthful of duvet.

Let it never be said that Sakura Haruno couldn't put up a fight.

Twisting his arm behind his back in a wristlock, she led him to the door and promptly threw him out, snatching her bra from his fingers and shutting the door on his laughter. Leaning back against the wood, she exhaled deeply and tried to ignore the call of "welcome to the family, sweet-cheeks!" that was only slightly muffled by the door. It was probably best she found a way to keep people out of her room.

Where could she find SWAT teams for sale?

* * *

A/N - So I see Deidara as someone who would be incredibly jealous and uneasy about the fact that Sakura was crushing on Itachi, and would be too blind to realise the crush had died. I'm not sure if it makes sense or if it just seemed a bit of a random thing, so thought I'd clarify. Also, fun fact about me (that's not fun at all), is that I'm really not a fan of slow-build romance (I'm too impatient) so it's going to happen soon and then you can fully enjoy the smutty, fluffy goodness!


	4. chapter 3: the tears of a six foot man

**_frat boys and she-devils_**

 _chapter 3:_ the tears of a 6 foot man

* * *

The next day was spent meeting with professors, setting up a timetable and trying to familiarise herself with the campus. Apart from the multitude of times she had gotten extremely lost, the day had passed without incident as she had managed to escape the house without bumping into a single crazy man-child. Now, as she started up the porch steps of her new home, she could only pray this peace would continue. She knew full well it wouldn't, but she enjoyed pretending.

And, to no one's surprise, her illusion was shattered almost the second she stepped through the door. This interruption came in the form of a hand clasping her wrist and roughly jerking her into a room before she even had a chance to comprehend what was going on. The bedroom that she now stood in was bare to the point that calling it minimalist would be overly generous. It was monochrome, and the only colour came from a collection of cacti that sat on the desk beside a window - a window that was hidden behind curtains she was almost 100% positive were never opened under any circumstance.

The main thing going through Sakura's mind as she took in her surroundings was how the sea of black and white made Sasori's hair look a really intense shade of blood-red. And here she was, stuck with pink. Thanks mum.

Her brothers hazel eyes had turned to his laptop screen immediately after he had manhandled her in here, and now she found herself staring unblinkingly at the back of his head in silence. That usually got him to talk eventually. Right on queue, Sasori finally spared her a glance.

"Dad wanted to make sure you were moved in ok and hadn't had to use your pepper spray yet." he stated to his laptop, ignoring the huff that came from his little sister. Sakura pouted and couldn't help but be slightly miffed that her dearest father was using Sasori to check up on her. Last time she checked, she was an adult after all.

"Ok, and why couldn't he just call and ask me this himself?" she questioned, picking absentmindedly at her nails.

"I told him you'd be too drunk to have a proper conversation."

Ever so slowly, Sakura raised her head to meet his eyes. "Uhh, what?" she asked intelligently.

"Just don't get so wasted you can't make it home. I'm out all night and I don't want you calling me at 6am, crying and asking me to pick you up from a Dairy Queen parking lot again."

"Hey," she started indignantly as her cheeks flushed red, "that was one time! And seriously, what are you talking about?"

But before she could get her answer, a minor explosion sounded from the vicinity of the kitchen. With wide eyes, she started sputtering as Sasori simply turned back to his laptop and plugged in his headphones. Unsure how to react to her brother's nonchalance, Sakura spun on her heel and propelled herself into the kitchen. The kitchen that was full of thick smoke, a pissed Kisame, an unapologetic Deidara and the delightful smell of melting plastic.

Which could be explained by the red lump that was currently on fire in the sink.

Apparently, Sakura was no good in a crisis, as all she could do was stand and gape in bewilderment at the scene before her. Luckily, Kisame was once again playing the role of head of the house, and quickly smothered the flames and flung open the back door to let out the acrid smell. Deidara merely sat with his chin propped on a hand casually, and when she turned her wide-eyed stare on him, he simply smirked.

"Experiment #47 was a bust."

And apparently that was the only explanation she was going to get. Deciding that for the good of her sanity, she should just go along with whatever the fuck it was that was happening right now, she plopped herself down in a chair.

Now that the immediate danger had been dealt with, Kisame flopped back against the countertop and fixed her with a wicked grin that had her wondering how she managed to convince so many hot guys that she was worthy of their time. It wasn't until she realised that the grin she was currently staring at was moving that she came out of her daze.

Kisame started laughing then, as despite her hopes, he noticed her stare. Of course he did, he wasn't a complete fucking idiot. Her misfortune continued as she failed to make the _thing_ in the sink spontaneously combust again, and Deidara's attention flipped from Kisame to Sakura. In a desperate attempt to move past yet another of her finest moments of stupidity - she knew for a fact that her spaced out face made her look _completely and totally brain-dead,_ as Ino so kindly put it - she cleared her throat and opened her mouth, but Kisame beat her to it.

"Anyway," he started, throwing her a mocking wink that had her glaring at him fiercely, "we're going out tonight. No excuses, princess, we all need a night of good old-fashioned bonding. We leave as soon as Hidan gets back, so go and try fix that mess you call a face."

It was like he wanted to be punched.

With the very mature reaction of sticking her tongue out at the man, she heaved herself up from the table and ignored Deidara's heavy gaze. She knew that there was no way in hell she was getting out of this, and that they would only relish the challenge of breaking into her room if she tried to lock herself away. She let loose a sigh that the men immediately recognised as one of defeat, and they exchanged grins as she left to change. Of course, she made sure that on her way out of the room she just so happened to stamp directly on Kisame's foot.

There was nothing like making a six foot man howl in pain to brighten her mood.

* * *

 _SAKURA-CHAN! I MISS YOU! when can me and the bastard come visit? i wanna see your new digs!_

Texts from Naruto never failed to make Sakura simultaneously roll her eyes in exasperation and smile in fondness. She would never know how she survived life with two disgustingly-loud blondes and a guy who acted like everything she said was the stupidest thing ever as her best friends, but she knew she wouldn't change them for the world. Most of the time. Sometimes they drove her to the point where she considered just poisoning them all and being done with it.

She'd run away if she believed she could, but they would definitely find her.

Typing out a quick ' _Not yet Naruto, I'll let you know. Miss you too!',_ she pocketed her phone in her leather jacket and bent to tug on her boots. The longer she could go without Naruto and Sasuke finding out she was living with 5 dudes (her brother obviously didn't count), the better. Especially as one of those guys were Itachi. Her boys had a habit of being slightly over-protective. But what could you expect when you'd been friends as long as they had?

"Let's get the fuck out of here, people! We've got drinking to do!" was the yell from Hidan that made her realise that maybe she should never tell her friends back home who she was living with.

Down in the hall stood her housemates, all looking varying degrees of excited. On a scale of a jumping Tobi to a straight-faced Itachi, she was a Hidan. That being, excited for the alcohol, indifferent about everything else - medical students were known for being heavy drinkers, after all. _Well_ , she thought, glancing at Deidara when he fell into step beside her as they piled out of the house and started down the road - _the company was pretty good too._

* * *

The bar that she was brought to was not the dingy pub she was expecting, but a chilled out loft space, with pool tables in one corner, rock music playing through the speakers, and an entire arcade on the lower level. Itachi drifted gracefully to the bar, while Hidan threw himself down on a sofa in the corner. Apparently Itachi accepted that he was the only one with any real money, and so was willingly getting the first round. With a grin, Sakura didn't stop at the table that the men were now occupying, but left to find the bathrooms and explore the smoking garden - that she was pleased to see was coated in cute little fairy lights.

By the time she re-entered the bar, Itachi was seated and everyone was drinking happily. Spying a rum and coke on the tray, she threw the Uchiha a grin of gratitude, before grabbing it and taking a sip.

God, she loved alcohol.

"So," she began, quickly granted with the attention of the men in front of her, "arcade?"

Tobi, bless him, immediately jumped up with a fist-pump and an excited yell, before grabbing her free hand and dragging her down the stairs. His enthusiasm was infectious on a Naruto-level, and she found that his company was just as good. The two spent the next half an hour trying every game they could, only pausing to refill their drinks. Currently, they were on motorbikes, racing round downtown LA, and Sakura was losing awfully. While Tobi was good at the driving games, she was a rocker at the shooters. Unfortunately, Tobi was what you might call timid, and while he agreed reluctantly to a game of Time Crisis, he wouldn't go anywhere near the zombie games.

Which was why when she stepped off the stupid bike after coming in a solid 12th place, the sight of Deidara meandering towards them made her grin giddily.

"Hey Tobi, Hidan just said that The Great British Bake Off is an overrated show," he called once he was near enough to be heard. A shriek was his reply, and the Uchiha quickly raced from the scene, prompting a laugh from Sakura and a head-shake from Deidara. Sobering up, she attempted to fix the blonde with a stern look.

"Are you lying to him to get rid of him? Because bullying Tobi's like kicking a puppy, and I will beat your ass for it."

The amused smirk she held didn't give her statement the appropriate punch, and Deidara merely laughed before walking towards a Resident Evil game.

"I wasn't lying, he did say that. Just about 20 minutes ago," he shrugged, but at the look she shot him, he continued "come on, I know you want to play the shooting games." He waggled one of the plastic guns at her in an attempt at enticement, and although she rolled her eyes, she accepted the weapon.

"You're still a prick. And if you die, I'm leaving you behind, bitch."

Focused on the screen while she selected a character, Sakura missed the way his eyes softened and his smirk melted to a smile.

"You're on pinky."

* * *

Sakura had made many stupid decisions in her life. Starting a competition with Deidara was definitely one of them. The rules that the loser of every game went and brought them both drinks led to more fun than she had had in a long time, but also more alcohol than anyone should ever, ever give her.

Now, she was leaning her head on his shoulder for support because the screen was blurring and her hand kept slipping on the joystick. He, in turn, was bracing his hands on the machine with a tight grip, eyes squinting as he made a conscious effort to concentrate on the screen.

This was how Kisame found them, and he was definitely sober enough to find it hilarious, while drunk enough to snapchat the scene without remembering that Sasori could see the picture.

"You know, we were beginning to think you two had slipped off home alone" he teased the pair with a wink. The two simply turned to him at half their normal speed and attempted glares that made them look like sulking toddlers. With a grin, Kisame walked forwards and wrapped an arm round either of their shoulders.

"Come on kids, you should probably come sit down for a bit."

Honestly, Sakura was proud of herself for making it up the stairs on her feet rather than crawling on her hands and knees. As she collapsed on to the sofa nearest her, she stared at the shots that were laid out on the table. She really, really shouldn't.

But she did.

And then was hit by a second wind as the others cheered and downed their own. She was ready to party, and she was enjoying herself more than she thought she could with a bunch of guys that she'd never really considered as actual friends. A dopey smile on her face, she reached for another shot when she was interrupted by a buzz from her phone. Glancing at the screen, she saw it was from Sasuke, and only hesitated a second before she opened it.

 _Ino said you're living with Itachi...when were you going to tell me?_

That blonde bitch was dead. And so was she when the younger Uchiha got his hands on her. Maybe now was the time to leave the country…

* * *

 _I can't believe you didn't tell me you're living with my brother and his friends. I know one of them is a massive pervert, you better stay away from him. When I come down we're finding you a new place._

This was then followed shortly by another message.

 _SAKURA CHAN THE BASTARD SAID YOUR LIVING WITH PERVS IM GOING TO COME RESCUE YOU DONT WORRY! NO MEANS NO SAKURA!_

Her friends were stupid, so she didn't reply, choosing instead to drink more and drag the guys on to the dancefloor. The fact that she was slowly moving closer to Deidara was not something anyone seemed to notice. Her phone buzzed several more times throughout the night, but as she drank more, they made less sense. The latest one didn't even look like words anymore, and so, distracted by Kisame chugging a beer beside her, she clumsily replied with a ' _sure' -_ thus ending a conversation she would completely forget about, and soon come to regret.

2am saw the group once more back at the house, bunched up on the sofas in the den. Itachi had retired to bed, but everyone else was still - to put it eloquently - off their faces, and so they decided that the sensible thing to do was carry on drinking. Which could only end well.

The next day was doomed to be full of puking and headaches, and this became even more certain with the proposition of a game from Kisame. The game involved watching a horror movie, and taking a shot every time you looked away or covered your eyes. It also proved that Hidan wasn't the only sadist in the house.

Sakura loved horror, and could stomach gore like a pro - after all, she was planning on spending her future with her hands on people's brains. But right now she could barely keep her eyes on the screen - not when she was using so much energy to act like Deidara didn't currently have a large hand on her thigh under the blanket they shared. Their sides were pressed together and his warmth was making her dizzy in the best way. She was sure that if Tobi wasn't screeching in horror every 5 seconds then the rest of the room would be able to hear her heart thumping.

It both thrilled her and scared her that she could no longer pretend that there was nothing between them. They wanted each other, and realistically Sasori was the only reason they weren't together. Unless he didn't actually like her. Maybe he just thought she'd be good in bed.

It was this thought, this paranoia that she always carried in the back of her mind, that stopped her from placing her hand on his.

She didn't want to scare him away.

* * *

Kisame crying may have been the weirdest thing she'd ever seen. He was sitting on the other side of Deidara, elbows on his knees and hands clasped against his mouth, tears falling slowly down his cheeks as he mouthed along to the words of the film.

He must have been more wasted than she realised.

Tobi was in a similar state, sat on the floor with a pillow crushed against his chest as he sobbed unabashedly.

After the horror had finished in a way more chilling than any of them had anticipated (apart from Hidan, who loved the gore and had left with a wide grin on his face), they had all decided that comic relief was needed before they went to bed.

Apparently, Finding Nemo had been the wrong choice.

Especially as Deidara's attention was wavering, and his hand had now left her thigh and was slung closely round her shoulders instead, pinning her in place. It was simultaneously the last and the only place she wanted to be.

With this confusion taking charge of her drunken mess of a brain, she abruptly stood, and stuttered out some excuse before bolting for the stairs. Throwing herself face down on her bed, she damned her very existence and prayed that one of these days, she'd actually learn some self-control. Although another traitorous part of her brain was cursing herself for missing an opportunity that had been held out to her on a silver platter. A chance she feared she wouldn't get again.

* * *

A/N - I'm uploading this at 1am, so I'll probably read through it tomorrow and hate it and change half of it, but there you go. Hope you enjoyed!


	5. chapter 4: maturity? what maturity?

**_frat boys and she-devils_**

 _chapter 4:_ maturity? what maturity?

* * *

Before she even opened her eyes, Sakura knew that she was going to have a bad day. Her throat was dry, her head was aching and her stomach was gurgling in protest at her very existence. Also, there were voices. Bleary-eyed, she ever so slowly pushed her face off the pillow just enough to be able to turn and see what appeared to be Naruto tied up in fairy lights and Sasuke commenting on the impracticality of one of her thongs. Sakura had already accepted that she was going to go mad living here, but she didn't think it would happen this quickly.

Trying to silence whatever alcohol-induced hallucination she was currently experiencing, she buried her face back into the pillow. It wasn't until the bed dipped next to her that she remembered she hadn't locked her bedroom door last night. Groaning loudly, she turned to face the cool stare of the Uchiha sat next to her. They sat in silence for several seconds, easily ignoring Naruto's pleas for help in the background through years of practice, until finally Sasuke cleared his throat.

"Get up, you have a house viewing in an hour."

Still half-asleep, Sakura propped herself up to sit against the headboard and shook her head in an attempt to comprehend what was happening. Finding no explanation, she turned back to him with a "huh?".

Sasuke rolled his eyes and brandished his phone in her face. "You said we could come today, remember? So here we are, ready to move you. You're not staying here with my brother and the freaks he associates himself with."

Sakura merely cast a pointed look at the blonde who was rolling around her floor, legs and arms tangled with wires and a pitiful expression on his face.

"Uh-huh, he's the one with the weird friends," she drawled, her brain finally clear enough to grasp the situation. "You know I'm not actually moving right? Did you seriously think you'd rock up here and kick me out?"

The blank stare she got in return was a clear answer. Rolling her eyes exaggeratedly, she ignored both her idiotic boys and left the room. A shower was definitely needed before she could even try and deal with them.

Hair that smells of tequila is never the recipe for a productive day.

* * *

Unfortunately, it wasn't just a fever dream, and when she left the bathroom 20 minutes later, she could distinctly hear Naruto fighting with Hidan downstairs. The smashing noise probably wasn't a good sign.

Clean and dressed, she decided she felt just about human enough to face the abundance of male idiots and so descended the stairs, only mildly scared at what would greet her. Luckily, the scene wasn't too bad. Well, Hidan and Naruto were lent over the table yelling in each others faces, Deidara was happily provoking them, and Sasori was twirling a knife in Sasuke's direction in a distinctly threatening way.

Her brother really didn't like Sasuke.

She did the only sane thing, and completely ignored the situation in favour of coffee-making. Kisame side-eyed her as he prodded at the eggs in his pan, and gave her an amused grin when she caught his eye over the rim of her mug.

"How we feeling this morning, princess? Looking a little rough there."

Having not consumed enough caffeine to function yet, it took Sakura a few seconds to try think up a comeback. Fortunately, she was saved from her brain fart when Itachi entered the kitchen, grabbed Sasuke's arm and then promptly dragged the younger boy from the room. The strange encounter was enough to make Hidan and Naruto momentarily forget their argument, and Sakura quickly grabbed at the chance to save her head from the intense yelling.

"Naruto, think you could help me set up my desk then pretty please?", she questioned, throwing in a bat of her eyelashes for good measure. If there was one thing that Naruto was weak to, it was her needing him for something, no matter how small the problem. With one last sour look at Hidan, he turned to her with his signature grin and straightened quickly.

"Sure thing, Sakura-chan!"

Grinning back, she followed him from the room with only a split-second glance at the blonde artist currently staring vacantly at the table top. They were halfway to her room when Naruto suddenly stopped and spun to face her.

"Wait, you're not actually staying here, are you? Sakura-chan, there are too many guys here!"

Pushing past the wide-eyed boy, she rolled her eyes and mentally prepared herself for the argument that was about to take place.

She was too hungover for this shit.

* * *

As expected, eventually Naruto accepted that she was staying put. Not to say that he liked it, but the combination of the lack of Sasuke's influence and his almost innate inability to upset the pinkette meant that he gave in reluctantly. Now he was sat on her floor surrounded by bits of wood and screws, attempting to figure out which way round the shelves on her desk went. Sasuke had been taken away hours ago, and wasn't replying to Sakura's texts, but she assumed that if either of the brothers had snapped and murdered the other, she'd probably have heard about it by now.

Tobi had wandered in half an hour ago, and was happily sat alphabetising her books and whistling along to the music from her phone. It was a companionable atmosphere, and Sakura was in a much better mood than she had woken up in. Although she wasn't sure how long that would last if she couldn't find a way to stop the shelf by her bed from looking cluttered. With another huff, Sakura backed up and fixed it with a critical eye. She definitely needed more coffee. But the good shit, not the instant that she had in her cupboard. Instantly brightening at the thought of consuming liquid heaven, she slipped on a pair of tennis shoes and grabbed her keys.

"Right, I need a caffeine fix, and Starbucks is calling my name. Either of you want anything?"

The way both boys looked up at her and shouted hot chocolate in unison was utterly endearing, and Sakura giggled lightly as she left her room. As she emerged on to the porch, a black car pulled up next to her convertible and Sasuke instantly jumped out with a hard look. Spying her walking towards him, he turned and hopped into her passenger seat, while Itachi headed towards the house.

As they passed, Itachi raised his eyebrows at her questioning look, and she decided it was probably best if she didn't pry. So, instead, she started her car, opened up her spotify playlist entitled 'Sasuke the punk-bitch' and chucked the phone into said boys lap. After several seconds, his tightly crossed arms loosened and he started scrolling through the song selection.

With a small smile, Sakura turned her attention to the road as she reversed out of the drive and simply turned up the volume on her stereo as Sasuke began to relax back into his seat.

He would talk when he was ready.

* * *

There were several scenarios she thought she might see when her and Sasuke stepped back into her room 30 minutes later, but a pillow fort was definitely not one of them.

The reaction was easily summed up by Sasuke's mutter of "the fuck?".

Tobi and Naruto both popped their heads out between the blankets that coated an entire half of her room, and she honestly had no idea how a fort that big was even standing. Honestly, it was some rather impressive engineering work. With a shrug, she simply grabbed her longest set of fairy lights and crawled inside to join the boys. Sasuke stood and stared in mild disgust at the trio as the two builders eagerly accepted their drinks and Sakura draped the lights around the perimeter of the make-shift tent.

"Sakura-chan, you need to hear Tobi's story about the pelican and the sandwich!" Naruto stated, bouncing excitedly where he sat as he slurped loudly from his cup. This statement was enough to warrant curiosity from Sasuke, and the boy reluctantly crawled in to sit on her left, sipping silently and fiddling with his phone distractedly.

The next few hours were spent like this, with Tobi only disappearing shortly to grab a tray of cookies from the kitchen and Sasuke only looking slightly mortified when Kisame walked past and laughed loudly at the sight they made.

* * *

She waved happily until her childhood friends had disappeared down the road, and let out a nostalgic sigh as she turned back into the house. Everyone appeared to be in their rooms, and so Sakura decided to follow suit and attempt to dismantle the creation that was threatening to consume her bed.

Before that, she headed to upstairs bathroom after spying the steam pouring out of the one she shared. But as she stepped to head back down to her room, she noticed the ladder that was pulled down in the landing that she was certain she had never even noticed before. Curious, she approached the wooden steps and pulled herself up to poke her head through the trapdoor.

The attic she was met with had her jaw dropping. The room wasn't the dusty affair you would have expected in a student house. Sure, in the back corner was a pile of junk that included rusty bikes and what appeared to be a fraternity statue of a shark, but the rest of the room was made into some sort of den. A large metal table sat in the centre of the room, covered in art supplies and splattered with paint. Paintings and sculptures dotted the rest of the room, and a sofa sat facing the large window that looked out over the garden.

There sat Deidara, a sketch pad propped on his knee and a coffee raised to his lips. He was watching her as she took in the room, and he smirked when she turned to finally face him.

"Welcome to the studio."

Taking that to mean she was allowed up here, Sakura took the seat next to him and rested her feet on the window-sill, still glancing around at the art that filled the room.

"This is so cool. Do you share this with Sasori?" she questioned, spying a wooden carving of a snake against the far wall.

He made a noise of agreement, staring critically at the sketch in his lap.

"It's good," she offered quietly, trying not to disturb the only peaceful place in the house.

Without looking at her, he replied "It's ok, but I know I can do better. Been sort of distracted recently."

Raising her gaze from the sketch to his face, she smiled softly as she took in how peaceful he looked when alone with his work. It was this side of Deidara, the side that she was positive only she saw, that really attracted her to him. Though his arms were a major factor too.

Sensing her stare, his blue eyes locked on to hers and his expression pulled into a softer version of his usual smirk. "You should feel honoured, no one else is allowed up here."

Laughing lightly, she leaned back into the sofa and stared out of the window at the rain that started to patter quickly against the glass.

"I must be pretty special then." she replied after a moment, swallowing at the anxious feeling she always got whenever she had these sort of moments with him.

Huffing a laugh, Deidara resumed his sketching, his thigh pressing against hers gently.

"Something like that."

* * *

A/N - So I know I went a bit MIA there but I was moving house, sorry! This, as you can probably tell, is pretty much all set-up, but don't worry important stuff happens soon!


	6. chapter 5: when in doubt, deny

_**frat boys and she-devils**_

 _chapter 5:_ when in doubt, deny

* * *

With all the chaos of moving house and surviving idiotic friends, Sakura had almost forgotten that she was here to study. The 5 hours of sleep were not a good omen for the first day of her course, but there was nothing to be done about it – apart from the 2 cups of coffee that she practically inhaled before stumbling from the house.

Hidan's first lecture was at the same time as hers, so before she could even think of all the reasons this was a bad idea, he was already planted in the driver's seat of her car. Not sure when exactly he had managed to get the keys directly from her back pocket, Sakura merely had to accept that she probably wouldn't be making it to her first day of third year.

If she didn't end up being forced into bunking off, she would almost definitely be found dead at the side of the road.

This comforting thought in mind, she double checked her seatbelt was done up tightly as Hidan swung out of the driveway and took off at what must have been double the speed limit – she was too scared to check. The drive that should have taken 20 minutes took just over 10, and Sakura spent the whole of it clinging tightly to the passenger door and praying that she wouldn't die when she hadn't even kissed Deidara yet.

Hidan, the good friend that he was, noticed Sakura's obvious discomfort and so went even faster.

When they pulled into the campus parking lot, Sakura stepped out onto shaking legs and had to take a second to lean against the car and try not to throw up. He had really swung round those corners. Hidan merely laughed and slapped her on the back.

"Well that was fun princess, we should definitely do it again sometime," he cheered, not in the slightest bit fazed by her withering glare, "catch you later pinkie!".

With one last evil grin, he was gone, and Sakura was left to figure out where the fuck she was meant to be. Seeing she had 10 minutes to find the right lecture hall, she sighed loudly, swung her bag over her shoulder and headed in the direction she was sure she was meant to be going in.

It was only a few minutes later that she suddenly realised Hidan still had her keys, and she feared no longer for her own life, but for that of her car.

* * *

Fast walking into the room with 5 seconds to spare before the bell rang, Sakura threw the lecturer a sheepish look and flung herself down into a chair in the second row. The lecturer, Tsunade, merely rolled her eyes at the pinkette, and continued shuffling through the documents spread on her podium. The general noise of the room continued, and so Sakura took the opportunity to introduce herself to the girl she had almost squashed when flopping into her seat.

"Hey, sorry about that, I really thought I was late! I'm Sakura Haruno."

The girl smiled prettily in return, pushing back her dark hair shyly. "I'm Hinata Hyugga, it's nice to meet you."

As they smiled at each other, Hinata seemed to come to a conclusion in her head. "Are you new here?" she questioned. Nodding, the pinkette explained her transfer between universities, but before the conversation could continue any further, Tsunade smacked a hand on her wooden podium.

"Alright, alright, everyone shut it. We've got a lot to get through today. Hope you guys are ready for the toughest year of your lives," The sadistic smile on her face brought a mix of worried silence and dread-filled groans from the students.

Sakura knew she'd like Tsunade.

* * *

After class, Sakura and Hinata had an hour's break which was spent on a tour of the campus, and the swapping of stories. Sakura really liked Hinata, and was ecstatic to have made not just a female friend, but a normal friend.

Now she just had to keep her far, far away from anyone else she knew.

Hinata was currently giggling along to one of Sakura's tales of her and Ino's exploits in first year when they were interrupted by the sudden movement of everyone around them.

"Damn, time for class. Ok, I'll finish the story later over dinner," Sakura promised as she brushed the grass from her jeans.

"Outside The Lagoon at 6, got it." Hinata smiled back, and with a wave they left in opposite directions.

Finding her seminar room without too much trouble, she smiled at the few people who had beat her there and leant back against the wall to fiddle with her phone. Sending a quick text to Hidan threatening bodily harm if he'd damaged/stolen her car, she was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.

"Didn't expect to see you here," came a masculine voice she knew all too well.

Spinning round with a grin, she threw herself into the man's arms. Said man laughed and hugged her back, just about managing to maintain his balance against the momentum.

"Hey, I texted you, you never replied!" her tone was accusing as they pulled away from each other, accentuating her words with sharp prods to his chest. Sobering a little, she continued "I missed you, Shikamaru."

Shikamaru merely rolled his eyes at her and placed a large hand on her head.

"Yeah, yeah, missed you too, whatever." he supplied back with his signature lopsided smile that Sakura hadn't seen in person for nearly 5 months. Ever since he had abruptly moved away following his dad's job transfer nearly 4 years ago, they only saw one another a few times a year. Despite this, they were still great friends, and this reunion was one of the main reasons Sakura had been ok with moving her life to a whole new city.

Because if there was anyone who could keep her sane through the crazy, it was Shikamaru.

* * *

The childhood friends spent the next 2 hours of their seminar catching up on everything that had happened since they last spoke - which, too be fair, was less than two weeks ago but it was safe to say that Sakura had a lot to talk about.

She didn't mention the situation with Deidara.

Unlike Sasuke and Naruto, he didn't get stupidly protective over her when he learnt about the guys she now lived with - he was too lazy to worry when he'd seen first hand how tough she really was.

She would have liked to spend more time with, but she was interrupted by the buzzing of her phone. Looking at the caller ID, she rolled her eyes and answered with a sharp "what?" that had Shikamaru chuckling.

"I'm at the gym, meet me here in 5 if you want your keys, alright pinky?"

That was all she got from Hidan before he hung up on her, and all Sakura could do was roll her eyes again.

"Ok, I've gotta go, but I'll see you tomorrow in the psych lecture?" she confirmed with a smile. He nodded and ambled away, disappearing in his usual cloud of smoke.

Sakura set off in the other direction, speed-walking because she knew Hidan meant it when he said 5 minutes. The gym was a big building with glass walls and was absolutely full of beautiful people.

Feeling slightly self-conscious, she pulled her top away from her stomach and made a bee-line for where Hidan slouched against a pillar.

She couldn't be blamed if she took the chance to admire his physique while his attention was on his phone - she hadn't seen him shirtless before. Raising her eyes to a respectful level before he looked up, she approached him with hands outstretched in a grabby motion.

His violet eyes raised from his screen and he snorted in amusement, pocketing his phone and crossing his arms.

"So do you have to go home or do you want to join me for a workout?" He propositioned through a lecherous grin.

Unamused, Sakura merely stood with her palm outstretched until he relented and gave her the keys.

"That's a shame, doll, I wouldn't mind doing some stretching with you." He called at her retreating back, "then again, we all know you prefer them blonde!"

Both middle fingers in the air, she swore on her life that if her car was the slightest bit damaged, she would be getting physical with Hidan - as she buried him six feet under.

* * *

The restaurant that Sakura now stood before was exactly what she'd hoped for when Hinata had told her the name. The Lagoon was a unique eatery, and would have looked at home on a beach in Thailand. It was bright and friendly, with all sorts of beach themed decor. Most importantly though, it offered 2-for-1 cocktails.

Eyeing up what appeared to be a life-sized model of a dolphin in a waiter's uniform, she looked up at the sound of her name and quickly leapt to envelope the girl in a hug.

"Your car was still where you left it then?" Hinata questioned through her giggles as they were seated by the waitress.

"Yeah, thank god, otherwise I would have skinned that idiot alive." Sakura growled out as she scanned the menu, drawing another laugh out of the other girl.

Her and Hinata were hugely different - Hinata was quiet and sweet and mature while Sakura constantly stuck her foot in her mouth and was almost permanently exasperated or irritated. Somehow though, the two got along amazingly well, and it was because of their differences - and the 3 cocktails she had consumed over their meal - that Sakura plucked up the courage to discuss her predicament in the hope of some advice.

Toying with the umbrella in her glass, she avoided eye contact as she tried to figure out the best way to word her worries.

"Hinata, I know it's probably a little weird of me to already be telling you this sort of stuff when we've known each other literally a day, but I could do with some advice," she finally stated, glancing up at her newest friend.

"It's fine, I'll do what I can to try and help," Hinata replied, somewhere between curious and concerned as she pushed away her half-eaten dessert to give the pinkette her full attention.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura proceeded to tell Hinata everything about her and Deidara - the almost kiss at her dad's house, the exchange in his studio, the drunken flirting, how she wanted to spend time with him more than anyone else. The further she got through her explanation, the bigger the smile on Hinata's face became. Then when Sakura went on to raise her concerns, it shrunk back down to a frown.

"I just don't know if it's a good idea. I mean, there's Sasori for one thing. I don't want to ruin his friendship with Deidara, and I know he'd feel super uncomfortable if we were to get together. Especially because I don't even know if it would work. Deidara's much more the 'week long fling' kind of guy rather than a 'serious relationship' kind of guy. What if we got together and it didn't work? We couldn't stay living together, I couldn't handle seeing him every single day. I'd have to move and I definitely couldn't afford that. Oh god, but I really like him and I really want to try it but I'm so bad with relationships, I have such major trust issues and Hinata you have to help me, what do I do?"

Her speech had sped up as she carried on, the alcohol in her system just enough to lessen her inhibitions and say her true thoughts. After she was done though, she immediately felt embarrassed - she wasn't usually one for sharing - and drank the rest of her daiquiri in a single gulp.

Hinata was sitting silently as she digested the wealth of information, chewing thoughtfully on her lower lip. The silence unnerved Sakura further, and she gestured to the waitress for a refill as she waited on a reply.

Finally, Hinata locked her eyes on Sakura's.

"Is he worth it?"

Her response was not what Sakura had expected, and she sat slightly confused for a moment before Hinata elaborated.

"It sounds like you really like him, and I understand why you have concerns. But Sakura, if you really do like him, you have to try. You'll regret it forever if you don't."

Her words hit home, and Sakura leant back in her chair slowly as she realised that Hinata was completely right. It was what she'd been too scared to let herself accept, even when deep down she knew it was the right thing to do.

The girls sat in silence for several minutes before a small smile graced Sakura's features.

"I'll do it."

Hinata smiled back.

* * *

By the time Hinata and Sakura parted ways, the sky was a deep purple and promised an intense storm.

As much as she loved to sleep to the sound of thunder, she knew that the amount of work Tsunade had given them on day one would mean that she'd be up for a while yet. With this thought in mind, she heaved a sigh and stopped off at a coffee shop for the much-needed caffeine fix.

Sakura had had a great time with Hinata, and was glad to have already made such a good friend, but her advice was circling in her head. She knew Hinata was right - she wanted to be with Deidara, see if they could work, but she needed to be the one to talk to Sasori. God knows what he'd do to Deidara if he thought the blonde was preying on his little sister. Arguments filled her mind, but right now she needed to focus on her studies - it wasn't like he was going anywhere.

She was so busy thinking about how to not think about Deidara that she completely missed the last step and stumbled forwards with all the grace of a blind goose.

She now finally understood what people meant when they talked about time seeming to slow down at dramatic moments, because she saw every facial expression that passed across the tall man's face as her coffee covered him head to toe.

Luckily, Sakura was able to catch her footing before she went flying face-first into the man's side. This was definitely a blessing, because judging by the look on his face, if she had touched him, he would have drop-kicked her.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I just didn't see the step and I was distracted and oh my god are you ok?" Her words came out in a panicked jumble as he ever-so-slowly turned to fix her with the scariest glare she'd ever seen on someone's face - and she was familiar with the Uchiha's.

Determining the she should really shut up, she clamped her mouth closed and stared warily up at him - up because her head barely reached his chest.

A beat of silence passed as she subtly attempted to study his face, before he abruptly turned and stalked away. Blinking slowly, Sakura came to her senses and, happy to have come out of that encounter alive, carried on towards her car.

She had never seen someone with so many scars.

* * *

A/N – So if the interactions between Shikamaru and Sakura seem kind of coupley, it's because they're one of my favourite couples (as you'll soon see from my other stories I'll shortly be uploading) and even when I don't mean to, I always write them slightly romantically.

Also, thanks for all the support I'm getting, it's nice to know you guys are enjoying it!


	7. chapter 6: caught in the act

_**frat boys and she-devils**_

 _chapter 6_ : caught in the act

* * *

The next few days flew by in a blur, and before she knew it, it was Saturday again. The workload was insane, and between juggling that, reconnecting with Shikamaru, getting to know Hinata better and searching for a job, she hadn't seen much of her housemates.

She'd be lying if she said that she hadn't been avoiding Deidara slightly.

She'd meant it when she told Hinata she was going to finally act on her feelings, but she was still scared.

Which was why she was currently laying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling and listening to Halsey. This was what she wanted. She wanted to be with Deidara, she just didn't know how to go about it. She couldn't just straight out confess, because she didn't think she would ever be able to recover if he flat out turned her down. But then, what could she do? Grab him and kiss him? That's definitely what Ino would do.

Which was the exact reason that Sakura wouldn't.

Groaning loudly in annoyance, she rolled over and buried her head beneath the pillows, her half an hour brainstorm a complete flop. She needed to plan how to show her feelings with military precision - if she was too full on, he'd be scared off, but if she wasn't serious enough, he might see it as an offer of a fling.

What she needed was a tactician.

A lightbulb suddenly blew in her head and she straightened immediately, wide eyes calculating as she snatched her phone from the nightstand and scrolled through her contacts.

What she needed was Shikamaru.

* * *

The look he was currently giving her was a fond mix of _why do I even put up with you?_ and _are you fucking kidding me?_ that Sakura sadly knew all too well.

The pair were sat across from one another at Shikamaru's dining room table, nursing coffees. A warm apple pie sat between them, a shameless bribe from Sakura to convince the man not to just kick her out the second she started spouting her troubles.

She had told him most of what she had told Hinata, but also included more of her deeper worries born from past experiences that were holding her back - he'd been there when she got the scars, it wasn't like he wouldn't see right through her if she tried to lie to him.

Talking to Shikamaru about emotional things such as this was difficult, because even though she knew he cared - deep, deep down - he had a hard fucking time showing it. The whole of her explanation was met with either a blank face or an exasperated eye roll, which wasn't the most encouraging reaction.

When she had finished though, he got straight to the point and his bluntness was what Sakura needed.

"Ok listen. As troublesome as it is to listen to you whine, you obviously like this guy and he doesn't seem like a complete asshole, so Hinata's right - you should just go for it. Sure, it might not work out, but you need to try for your own sanity."

His face then sobered slightly and his mouth twisted down at the corners as he reached a hand to her over the table - not to touch her, just to make her raise her eyes from her mug to meet his brown-eyed gaze.

"I know, ok. I know it must be hard for you to put yourself out there, and I'm not saying that what happened that summer wasn't serious and you should just forget about it - you never will, God knows I can't either. But this isn't the same. You're going to be fine."

Blinking back tears, she smiled at her honorary brother warmly before reaching over the table to throttle him with a tight hug.

She honestly didn't know where she'd be without her friends.

* * *

Sakura had never felt more disoriented in her life.

Swinging her head around wildly, she attempted to blink the sleep from her eyes and piece together exactly what was happening. Identifying her phone as the culprit of the beeping noise, she fumbled for the button to shut it off before blanching at the time on her screen.

Why the fuck was there an alarm set for 6:30am on a Saturday?

 _A Saturday._

Someone was going to _die._

Emitting a low growl, her head snapped up as a fist began pounding on her door.

"Wakey, wakey princess, we've gotta be on the road in an hour and it's your turn for the shower!"

And to think, Kisame used to be her favourite.

Launching through her door with speed she didn't even know she possessed, she grabbed a fistful of t-shirt and swung him round to face her, pulling him roughly down to her eye level. Unfortunately, he seemed to be finding her anger amusing rather than intimidating, and he laughed loudly as he unclenched her fingers from his shirt.

"What do you mean 'on the road'? It's a Saturday morning, I should be sleeping." she questioned through gritted teeth, eyebrows furrowed angrily and arms folded tightly.

To his credit, Kisame did look genuinely confused at her outburst.

"We're going to Riot Mountain, remember? We organised it like 5 days ago, we said we'd leave early to beat the traffic…" he trailed off as he realised that the tiny pinkette in front of him was about two words away from punting him through a wall.

"Yeah, someone should probably have told me about this _before they woke me up at 6-fucking-30."_

Looking to be at a complete loss, he raised placating hands and slowly backed up a couple of steps. "Sorry kitten, Hidan said he'd let you know when he drove with you to campus the other day."

Judging by the look on his face, he hadn't realised how stupid it was to leave anything in that demonic mad-man's hands till he said it out loud.

Letting out a guilty, strained chuckle and an 'oops', he all but ran to hide in his room.

They really needed to start telling her their plans before they made them.

Her anger at being awoken so early was ebbing though, she loved Riot Mountain and she knew for a fact they had just opened a new ride last week. So she supposed she could forgive them, just this once. _Well, mostly_ , she thought with an ominous smirk.

Showering could wait, first she had a certain silver-haired man to torture mercilessly.

* * *

By the time Sakura was dressed in denim shorts and a white tee, sunglasses on her head and bag packed and ready by her feet, her anger had been completely replaced by excitement. She was discussing with Tobi their favourite things about rides as they waited for Hidan, who was taking much longer than usual to get ready.

Something that Sakura was sure had absolutely nothing to do with the slight beating she had given him earlier.

Kisame, the self-appointed leader, was checking the time and sighing loudly every couple of seconds.

"Hidan, hurry the fuck up, man!"

Incoherent yelling and swearing was the reply, and a minute later Hidan came hopping down the stairs as he attempted to get his other shoe on.

"Keep your fucking hair on, asswipe, I'm here alright." Hidan grouched, pushing past the group in the hallway to storm off towards Itachi's car - obviously he'd taken her warning of not pissing her off for the rest of the day seriously.

As the designated drivers, Sakura and Itachi took a second to confer over directions, with the main idea being Sakura would tail him as much as possible. The group then split ways, Tobi bouncing excitedly in her back seat and Deidara claiming the passenger seat.

Deidara immediately busied himself with DJ duties, and Tobi began the difficult task of ranking all the rides from top to lowest priority.

Settling herself in for a long, deafening ride, she pulled down her sunglasses and followed Itachi down the road. Next to her, Deidara finally settled on the song Saturday Night, and went to put her phone back in its little stand just as she reached to turn up the volume on her and Ino's party anthem.

Their hands brushed, and they met each other's gaze with a smile, ignorant to the rambling man in the back, and Sakura had never felt so much anticipation in her life.

* * *

It was strangely poetic that someone so brash and obsessed with all things masochistic and bloodthirsty as Hidan would get so easily sick from roller coasters.

As the other's raved about how good Dragon's Lair had been, he was clutching to a bin tightly and projecting a worryingly blue-tinted vomit.

To be fair, she'd told him downing an entire slushie the second they entered the park was probably a bad idea.

Then again, she'd been the one to wear a white shirt without considering the implications of water rides.

She hadn't even thought about it for a second till she had stumbled laughing from the ride to meet the suggestive smirks of Hidan and Kisame and the bashful looks of Deidara - which she was secretly pleased with - and Tobi. Sasori had immediately started beating the former two for looking at her in such a way, while Itachi had pulled his own black hoodie over her head.

Smiling at him gratefully, she missed the sullen look shot their way from the blonde artist.

However, she didn't miss the fact that Deidara was now ignoring her.

Oblivious as she was, she failed to put two and two together and slowly crossed from writing it off as paranoia to irritation at his flakiness. He managed to avoid sitting with her on the next three rides, and when Sasori turned down the suggestion of the ghost train, he was quick to follow the red-head away to another ride.

Sakura wasn't sure if she was pissed or upset.

The morning had been great, her and Deidara had been talking almost non-stop since they left home but now she sat between Kisame and Itachi, as Tobi hovered around Hidan in an unwanted attempt to assist.

They hadn't seen the other two for over an hour now, and Deidara hadn't replied to Kisame's text - meaning he was either on a ride or sulking in a corner somewhere.

They didn't have to wait much longer though, as ten minutes later, as Hidan was refilling his stomach at an alarming rate for someone who had just been so sick, they appeared. It didn't escape Sakura's notice that Deidara ignored the space opposite her and instead sat next to Tobi at their diner table.

Ok, screw being upset, she was definitely pissed.

Silently fuming and internally planning out exactly what she was going to say to the infuriating blonde, she missed most of the conversation that took place around her. It wasn't until they all stood up that Sakura finally snapped out of her own head and trailed after them.

A few minutes later, she found herself staring up at the biggest swing that she'd ever seen people strapped to.

And they _were upside down._

"Hell fucking no," were the first words she'd spoken in about 40 minutes, and came out with slightly more venom than she had intended.

Unfortunately for her, at the exact moment that she had spoken, Deidara had also scoffed and taken a step back. Panic rose in both of them as they met eyes, but the anger flooded back to her when he quickly dropped his gaze.

Before either of them could object to being left together, the others had surged forwards and were swallowed up into the queue. The awkwardness between them was palpable, and Sakura knew that this was her chance. So before Deidara could even open his mouth, she beat him to it.

"Why are you ignoring me?" she demanded, fixing him with a hard stare despite the fact that he was obviously doing everything he could to avoid making eye contact. He was silent for a moment, then slowly he turned to face her, vision fixed on a point over her shoulder.

"I'm not-" he began calmly, but she wasn't having any of it.

"Bullshit."

The harshness of her voice finally got him to look at her.

He seemed to be fighting with himself as he fidgeted, opening then shutting his mouth several times. Sakura merely waited in oppressive silence, till he huffed out what seemed to be a self-depreciating laugh.

"Shit, Sakura, I thought you liked me. I can't believe I was such an idiot," he replied, running a hand through his hair and averting his gaze yet again.

Sakura, for her part, was gobsmacked.

Her brain was having immense trouble taking his words in, and all she could do was stand and gape. This obviously gave off the wrong impression, as Deidara looked incredibly uncomfortable and turned his body away from her.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter. I should have known you wouldn't like me, it was always the Uchiha you had a crush on."

His walls were coming up quickly, and that was enough to break Sakura out of her stupor.

"What are you talking about? I don't like Itachi! I mean, I thought I did for like a minute years ago, but that's it," she reasoned, grabbing onto his arm to stop him walking away.

This didn't seem to get through to him as she hoped it would, and desperation took over her. She pulled him to face her and all but blurted out "I like you, you idiot."

Uncertainty tainted his features, and she realised he needed more.

"I've liked you for months, Deidara," she continued, voice softer this time, "I thought you knew that."

They stood in silence for a moment, when suddenly Deidara laughed and ran the hand she wasn't clinging to through his hair.

"Well, we're obviously both great at this sort of shit," he said, and Sakura had never been happier to see a smile on his face. Grinning back at him, she plucked up the courage to ask him - she had to be sure.

"So, does this mean you like me too then?" she questioned nervously, holding his steady gaze.

Rolling his eyes, he didn't reply.

Instead, he kissed her.

One of his hands cradled her jaw as the other wrapped around her waist. It took Sakura less than a second to reciprocate, twining her arms around his neck and pressing her lips fully against his with a deep, contented sigh. A low groan was her reply, and the arm around her waist pressed her tighter against his firm body.

The world melted away, and Sakura was adamant on committing every detail of this to her memory as an utterly perfect moment.

Until the sound of a clearing throat sounded from behind them, and they sprang apart guiltily.

Sakura's face paled dramatically, and she heard the curse that Deidara muttered under his breath.

They'd forgotten Sasori had gone to get a drink.

* * *

A/N - finally, right?


	8. chapter 7: corrupting the innocent

_**frat boys and she-devils**_

 _chapter 7_ : corrupting the innocent

* * *

The ride home was the most awkward experience of Sakura's life. It was even worse than that time Ino had come home with a guy, so drunk that she'd forgotten that Sakura had stayed in, and so was in bed, and had fallen on top of her whilst she was asleep.

Waking up to a half-naked stranger, a shirtless Ino and half a bottle of vodka poured over her bedcovers was not how she liked to start her day.

But this, the overwhelming cloud of shame and disgust and pure anger that radiated from Sasori was choking her. He sat in the passenger seat, a face of stone and arms crossed tightly. He'd shut off the music the second they'd gotten in the car, and Kisame, sensing that his jokes were really not appreciated right now, lazed in the backseat with headphones on, attempting to make his 6 ft self as invisible as possible.

Hell hath no fury like a pissed-off Sasori.

Once he had shocked Sakura and Deidara apart, he had stood there with a face like thunder until the others had returned from the ride. The others, who probably guessed what had happened the second they took in the scene (why else would Sasori be so mad at Sakura), were quick to whisk the group back to the parking lot, and turned a blind eye when Sasori all-but shoved Deidara into the back of Itachi's car.

Every second they drove was a second closer to Sakura being left alone to face her brother, and she was shitting herself. The temptation to jump out of the moving vehicle and run for the hills was pretty strong by this point.

Unfortunately, they were home all too soon.

Sasori launched from the vehicle, while Sakura stood slowly with the air of someone being sent to the executioner. She hadn't looked her brother in the eye since the awkward interruption, but as his shoes came into her line of sight she knew it was time to face the music. Swallowing her nerves, she slowly raised her gaze to meet his burning hazel eyes.

What she hadn't expected was for him to snatch the keys from her hand.

She also definitely hadn't expected him to grab Deidara by the wrist, dump him into her passenger seat, and then drive away.

She was left standing in the empty road, watching the dust rise and blinking away her surprise.

A heavy hand fell on her shoulder, and Kisame gently began dragging her towards the house.

The silence of the group was broken when they closed the front door behind them.

"Shit man, Deidara's punk-ass is dead as fuck."

* * *

After Hidan's less-than-helpful comment, Sakura had hurried away up the stairs to try and process everything that had just happened.

Flopping down on her small balcony, she stared out at the late afternoon sun, taking comfort from the peace that came from a bright, open sky. She couldn't help it when a giddy smile crawled onto her face.

Deidara liked her. Deidara had kissed her.

And fuck her, had it been a hot kiss. He was unfairly talented, and she only hoped that Sasori wasn't currently burying his body in the woods somewhere, as she could only imagine how skilled the blonde could be in other areas.

Her smile transformed into a smirk.

There was nothing she could do now but wait for their return, but she'd go crazy sitting alone in her room. Luckily, she knew a few people who were pretty good when it came to distractions.

* * *

An hour later, she and Hinata were both in Sakura's bed, eyes fixed on the screen in front of them. A half empty carton of ice cream sat melting between them, as well as a mountain of chocolate and homemade daiquiris on either night stand. The curtains were all drawn, the room in semi-darkness, and Hinata had the duvet pulled up over her face, pale eyes barely peeking over the top. Sakura was leaning forward, engaged completely on the horror film they had decided to watch while they waited for the others to arrive.

A call to Ino had the blonde jumping in the car within minutes - after all, anything was better than studying. She had also given explicit orders that she had to meet Hinata, whom Sakura had grown very close to quickly. She had also made it her mission to pick up Shikamaru on her way to Sakura's, as the two went way back.

They were the 'will they, won't they?' couple of Sakura's high school, and the cause of many headaches. She knew both of them liked the other, she just couldn't get it through their heads - they were notoriously stubborn. Although, it had been years now since they were all in the same place, and it was likely that both of them had moved on by now.

The film was reaching the climax, the heroine creeping silently through the halls of an abandoned manor house as the spirits stalked her every move. Both girls were silent, watching in trepidation as the girl on screen reached out a shaking hand, grasping the doorknob -

And then Sakura's door flung open.

Both girls screeched louder than Sakura thought possible, clutched at each other, and somehow ended up propelling themselves backwards off the bed.

Ino was in stitches, gasping for breath as she fell on the floor in complete hysterics. Shikamaru merely chuckled, shaking his head in exasperation as he reached out tanned hands to help both girls off the floor. The second Sakura was on her feet, she launched herself at the blonde and began beating her with the nearest item - a slipper.

Soon enough, Ino's laughter turned into shrieks as they began grappling on the floor.

"What the fuck happened in here?"

Sakura looked up from where she was currently straddling Ino, hand holding the slipper raised above her head, to meet the dumbfounded look on Kisame's face. He was stood in her doorway, bat in hand, Hidan close behind wielding what looked like a hunting knife (which was only mildly terrifying).

Regaining her composure, Sakura slipped silently off the other girl and raised placating hands to the older guys.

"It's fine, put the weapons down, you freaks." she grouched, reluctantly pulling Ino to her feet. Ino, who was currently being looked up and down by a smirking Hidan. Sakura didn't miss the spark in Hidan's eyes, or the way Ino smoothed her hair at the attention.

Shikamaru's jaw clenched minutely.

Interesting.

"Who are your friends then pinky?" Kisame asked, gaze jumping from Ino to Shikamaru and back to Sakura. He slung his bat over his shoulder, posture relaxed now that the perceived threat was gone.

"Oh right, this is Ino and Shikamaru - home friends. Guys, this is Kisame," said boy raised a lazy hand, "and Hidan," who managed to look away from Ino long enough to throw the other newcomer a nod.

"You guys already know Hinata," she continued, closing her eyes against the matching grins that spread on her housemates faces, and the blush that rushed to Hinata's cheeks.

Now there was a night she wanted to permanently erase from her memory.

She had invited Hinata over for a study session, and had been giving her a quick tour when they had entered the kitchen to be met with a scene that involved half-naked men, the smell of chemicals and a squirrel.

She had shut the kitchen door, led Hinata upstairs and never questioned what had been happening. There was no way she would like the answer.

Sighing deeply, she turned to Ino.

"Who let you in?"

The blonde shrugged, twirling her ponytail around her fingers. "Some guy with dark hair, super-hyper, practically cried in delight when we said we were your friends."

Oh Tobi, he was too good for this world.

"Well," she started, clapping her hands together, "now that we've established I'm not being murdered, how about you two slink back to whatever holes you came out of. Mama needs a drink."

Flapping her hands dismissively at the figures in her doorway, she reclaimed her daiquiri from the stand and downed it in one gulp.

"I thought we'd be drinking, so I brought some supplies," Ino sang, reaching for a bag on the floor that Sakura hadn't noticed before. The clinking of glass filled the room as the contents was emptied onto Sakura's bed.

The mountain of alcohol brought a smile to Sakura's lips, and she thanked the world for Ino's dad's credit card.

* * *

Sakura lived in a den of iniquity, and she was so ok with that.

Her friends were idiots, and she was ok with that too.

They'd relocated to the kitchen, and both her friends and her housemates - minus Itachi, who was shut in his room, and Sasori and Deidara, who were _still_ out - were crowded around the table, each in various states of sobriety.

Hinata was to her left, currently talking to Ino about some place in France where they both went skiing. She was infinitely glad that they seemed to be getting along well, as they were her closest female friends. Shikamaru, on her other side, was getting on surprisingly well with Kisame, and was at least accepting of Hidan. They were all pretty tipsy when Tobi ran into the room and slapped a black box down on the table, catching the attention of everyone.

"Oh my god, yes!" Ino exclaimed, clapping her hands delightedly. Kisame was already laughing, and Sakura grinned happily at Tobi.

She fucking loved Cards Against Humanity.

As the cards were doled out, Sakura's phone pinged from where it lay face-down on the table. Unlocking it with her thumb, she was met with the grinning, blurry face of Naruto. His arm was slung around the shoulders of a sullen Sasuke, dragging him into view of the camera, and it was pretty clear that both boys were on their way to wasted.

Huffing a laugh, she sent back a snap of her pulling a face, lifting her glass to the camera in a cheers motion.

Turning her attention back to the table, she noticed Hinata's wary expression. Of course, someone as innocent as her wouldn't have played a game that involved cards like 'bigger, blacker dick' and 'incest'. But hey, Hinata was nothing if not willing to try.

They should have realised early on that she would crush them all.

It was safe to say that the rest of them had no inhibitions, dirty minds and a dark sense of humour, but none of them thought Hinata would be the worst of them all.

Quiet, sweet, innocent little Hinata. Sakura was so proud.

At this point, they were all well into the realm of drunk, currently laughing boisterously as Ino tried to read her card through the tears streaming down her cheeks. The chirp of Sakura's phone only just registered above the noise, and she replied to Naruto's question of what she was up to with a quick video of the room, subsequently capturing the moment Ino yelled 'anus' and then slumped laughing on the table.

Which of course would be the scene that Sasori and Deidara walked into.

As Sakura was sat facing the door, she was the only one who registered them at first. Her gaze flicked from Deidara - who was sporting no obvious bruises, and still had all his hair - to Sasori, who was glaring intensely at her. It was happening.

She was being summoned.

He was either going to strangle her, or ship her off to a nunnery in the British countryside.

 _To be honest,_ she thought, as she reluctantly heaved herself from the table, catching the sympathetic glance from Hinata, _I'd rather take the strangling._

As she passed Deidara, their hands traced each other's knuckles, and Sakura resigned herself to the fact that if today was the day she was going to die, she'd had a pretty good last day.

* * *

The asshole wasn't blinking.

Her brother was, without a doubt, the most intimidating person she had ever encountered. They were currently in his room, Sakura sat spinning on his desk chair as Sasori paced in front of her. He hadn't spoken yet, but Sakura knew she had to be patient - if she dared even breathe too loud he would probably tear her head off.

Finally, the red-head ceased pacing, coming to a stop with his back turned to her. He let out a loud, drawn out sigh and massaged his temple, eyes closed tightly. Then, with what sounded like a muttered ' _fuck my life',_ he spun around abruptly and fixed his sister with a cool stare.

"I hope you realise that the fact that I haven't slaughtered both you and that imbecile proves that I'm the greatest brother ever, and my Christmas present this year better be fucking incredible."

Not wanting to antagonise him, she nodded silently.

With another sigh, he dropped his arms to his side and looked up at the ceiling in what must have been defeat.

"If he does anything to upset or hurt you, and I mean fucking _anything_ , I'll kill him, no exceptions. I don't want to hear about your relationship, I don't want to see you acting all coupley and I swear to God, if I hear you having sex, I'm shipping you back to dad's and shipping Deidara off to an early grave, got it? "

She nodded again, hope in her eyes as she realised that this was actually happening. As much as she didn't need Sasori's approval for her relationships, she couldn't stand the idea that her being happy meant that Sasori had to lose his best friend.

Seeing his sister practically vibrating with happiness, Sasori rolled his eyes.

"Get out of here, would you? I need sleep."

Laughing cheerfully, she ignored his blunt dismissal and swooped in to hug him around the waist, crying into his shoulder about how he was the 'bestest big brother in the world ever' before practically skipping from the room.

She missed the lopsided smile that Sasori shot at her back as he closed the door.

He thanked the lord he had a decent pair of noise-cancelling headphones.

* * *

This, Sakura thought, was a pretty fucking perfect night.

Here she was, sat on the deck in the garden, making out with her hot new boyfriend, drunk on cocktails, with a room full of friends and loud music to return too.

Whenever she could pull herself away from the gorgeous blonde who was currently doing sinful things with his hands, that was.

They'd talked it through after Sasori had given them his (slightly reluctant) blessing, and decided to make it exclusive from the get-go, and just see how it went. She couldn't wait to get Hinata and Ino alone and have a totally girly gush session, planning dates and bragging about how good a kisser he was. She didn't care if that made her sound like some 14 year old with a crush, because honestly, that was how she felt. That sort of bubbly excitement you get from a young, innocent relationship - not that she had any intention of this being an innocent relationship.

The bite mark hidden by her hair was testimony to that.

Reluctantly, she pulled away, staring sappily into blue eyes that were half hidden in darkness.

Grinning at his smug smirk, she pulled him to his feet and began leading him inside, where they were met with a chorus of wolf-whistles and suggestive eyebrow waggling. Shikamaru had moved up next to Hinata, leaving a seat open for Deidara, and as they sat down and started on a new round of Ring of Fire, she couldn't help but laugh out loud in drunken glee.

Something had to go wrong soon.

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ Oops, that took longer to write than it should have, got too distracted starting another story (sorry!), but hope you enjoyed!


	9. chapter 8: a lesson in fire safety

**frat-boys and she-devils**

chapter 8: a lesson in fire safety

* * *

It was 3am by the time Shikamaru had been kicked out, the rest of the boys had skulked off to their rooms, and the girls were finally going to bed.

Well, Hinata and Ino were in bed, Sakura was currently pressed up against Deidara's bedroom door with his tongue down her throat.

It was the first time she had been in his room - having snuck in there after telling the girls she was going to the bathroom - and she was pleasantly surprised by how neat it was. Deidara was chaotic in every aspect of his life, seemingly apart from his room. Although that may have more to do with the lack of possessions than any real organisation. The walls were a deep navy and were apparently used as one big canvas for the artist, paintings stretching from floor to ceiling. His bed was made, the desk uncluttered and the floor free from clothing.

Which was more than could be said about her room.

She had spent several minutes exploring the space, picking up random things to find out their purpose and their stories from the blonde that sat on his bed, watching her closely. She wasn't sure exactly when the kissing had begun, but she was seriously reluctant to let it end.

Unfortunately, she had to breathe at some point. Pulling away slowly, she rested her head back against the wood and traced his face with hooded eyes. She laughed quietly, tracing her fingers over the bare skin of his neck.

"Is it weird that this isn't weird?" she murmured softly, not wanting to break the moment by being too loud. Deidara chuckled just as quietly, kissing her once more before pulling his arms from her waist.

"As little sense as that made, I get you." He was slowly taking a couple of steps back, and Sakura raised an eyebrow in question. A look somewhere between a sheepish grin and a smirk pulled at his face, as his eyes roamed her body once. "You should probably get to your own bed before I end up taking you to mine."

Despite the joking tone, his eyes were dangerous, and Sakura felt her cheeks warm.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." Smiling happily, she maintained eye contact with him for a moment before turning to let herself out. "Goodnight."

"Night, Sakura."

She felt dizzy and elated, happiness fuelled further by the alcohol, and evidenced by the stupid grin on her face. When she looked in the bathroom mirror, she understand what Deidara had been getting at though. Her hair was mussed, her eyes glazed and her lips swollen. Her shirt was rucked up at her waist, and her chest was heaving slightly from exertion.

Oops.

Smirking at her reflection, she fixed herself quickly before heading back to her room.

Ino and Hinata were sat up in the bed, already in their pj's and cleary gossiping about her, judging by the satisfied smirk on Ino's face.

Before the blonde could even open her mouth, Sakura groaned and fell face first on to her bed. Her words were muffled by the pillow when she said, "tomorrow you can interrogate me, right now I'm too damn tired."

Her words were punctuated by a yawn that the other girls soon replicated, before simultaneously burrowing down under the covers. Ino gave a mock-annoyed huff of "fine" before smiling warmly when the pinkette caught her eyes. It wasn't often that any guy Sakura was interested in met Ino's high standards.

Knowing full well that she wasn't going to get any peace in the morning once Ino started grilling her for every single minute detail, Sakura sighed contentedly into her pillow, and accepted the fact that her life was about to get a lot more interesting.

* * *

Like most days, Sakura's morning started with a giant mug of coffee.

Unlike most days, she was enjoying that coffee while snuggled into the side of a tall blonde artist.

It was Sunday, just over a week since the two had become "official". They had been inseparable ever since Ino had been sent home with the juicy details on just how good a kisser Deidara was - a fact that had only become more apparent as the days passed. The whole of that last Sunday had been spent right where they were now, hidden away in the studio, swapping details of their lives.

It was one of those talks that you can only have with a select few people in your life - a discussion on dreams and hopes and fears and family. They'd laid a lot out on the table, but Sakura wasn't ready to share everything just yet.

Not that there was any rush.

A few casual dates of dinner or shopping had passed, during which Sakura had learnt two important things.

Deidara was both a food snob and a great stylist.

Sakura supposed that both of these things stemmed from his love of art. It turned out to be very helpful when Deidara was better at picking things that would look good on her than she was. She had several new outfits, courtesy of his recommendation. This was also a fact that she was forbidden to share with the other males in the house, as there was no way in hell they wouldn't rip the absolute shit out of him for it.

The food snobbery, however, was a little inconvenient. It meant that if Sakura didn't put her foot down they could take a whole hour trying to find somewhere to eat. It always paid off though, Deidara managing to find diners and bistros that served food so amazing Sakura wanted to cry.

Turns out there were many perks of dating Deidara.

Even this was a moment to be cherished.

They were sat not speaking, the only sound the music that played from the speakers and the scratching of Deidara's pencil. How he managed to draw properly when he had one hand slung round her waist was pretty impressive.

They hadn't really stopped touching each other all week. Not sexually (mostly), just physical affection. Deidara was surprisingly into hand holding and public hugging - although that may have something to do with his possessive nature.

Or maybe he just knew it made her happy.

They had slept together for the first time the night before. Actual sleeping, rather than sex. They had been cuddled in Sakura's bed, working their way through the Harry Potters when they finished the fourth and decided sleep was needed. Deidara hadn't wanted to leave the warmth, and Sakura hadn't wanted him to either.

They had stayed wrapped around each other, and Sakura had never slept so well in her life. Waking up had been amazing, too. His warm breath on her neck and the arm tight around her waist had made her feel safe and secure and wanted.

Things that, honestly, she hadn't felt in a long time.

Sakura sighed, taking a long gulp of coffee and smiling at the artist who had raised his gaze to grin at her.

Yeah, she was happy.

* * *

Deidara was in a foul mood.

That much was evident the second he got home, where he slammed the front door, threw his bag at the wall and stomped straight upstairs.

The kitchen was silent.

"Jeez, what's eating Rapunzel?" Hidan asked, leaning his chair back on two legs as he continued polishing his hunting knife (she still didn't know why he owned that). Kisame shrugged where he sat working at the kitchen table, and Sasori made a noncommittal noise as he continued tapping away at his laptop.

Sakura chewed her lip, eyes furrowed in worry as she slowly turned back to the pot she was stirring. Making a decision, with no idea whether it was the right one, she tossed down the wooden spoon.

"Take over, would you?" She ordered, flinging her apron at Kisame. The man barely had a chance to even begin to protest when Hidan cut in.

"You going to go cheer him up, Kitten?"

The lecherous grin on his face was quickly wiped off with a hard kick to his shin which sent him and his unbalanced chair toppling to the floor.

The confidence she felt in her choice was quickly diminishing, and by the time she stood facing her boyfriend's door, she was debating turning around and leaving.

He had seemed so angry, and she knew from experience that when he was angry he wanted nothing to do with anyone.

But she wasn't just anyone. Right?

Steeling herself, she briskly knocked on the door.

The muffled noise of things being carelessly tossed around and what sounded like angry pacing quickly ceased into silence.

It was several seconds before the door opened to his stressed out face. Seeing it was her, he didn't immediately slam the door in her face (which had been a possibility she was concerned about), instead leaving it open for her before retreating to flop on his bed.

Reassured, Sakura closed the door softly behind her and took a seat next to him, back against the headboard and legs stretched out in front of her. It wasn't long before Deidara turned to bury his face in her thigh, one long tanned arm hugging her hip.

Absentmindedly, Sakura began stroking his silky hair, waiting for him to start talking.

"My dad called," he began, voice carefully guarded, "he cancelled. Surprise, surprise."

Sakura had been worried this would be the problem.

Somewhere in their deep talk on families, Deidara had told her that he and has dad had never seen eye to eye. Their relationship just worsened as Deidara grew up, and at this point the two went for months and months at a time with no contact whatsoever. The blonde had admitted that he wanted to try fix things, apologise for being such a bratty kid and a messed up teenager.

So, with encouragement from Sakura, he finally plucked up the courage to call his dad and remind him that his birthday was coming up, and maybe they could get a beer or something.

He'd spent so long before making the call trying to convince both himself and Sakura that the man would laugh and hang up the phone, that when his dad agreed Deidara had been speechless for a while after.

Abruptly, Deidara pulled himself from her lap to sit by her side, glaring down at his fisted hands.

"I knew it was too good to be true. The fucking bastard never gave a shit about me."

It broker Sakura's heart to see someone so confident and caring be reduced to a little boy whose parents had given up on him.

Covering his fists with her warm palms, she tilted her head to catch his eye.

"Fuck him. You don't need him to have a good birthday. Me and the boys have got it covered, alright?"

The look he gave her was searching, and slowly a smile crept up on his lips.

"Alright."

* * *

Planning a party turned out to be easy.

She had palmed off the whole "inviting of guests" onto Hidan and Kisame, who had the double advantage of both knowing all of Deidara's friends and not being socially inept.

Sasori was told to create a playlist, and Itachi was put in charge of locking away anything even mildly valuable and/or breakable.

Sakura, meanwhile, had been busy figuring out her surprise for Deidara. The man had flat-out refused to let her get him a present (although she was ignoring that) and had forbid her from doing anything crazy that she couldn't afford (she was ignoring that too).

The party was in a matter of hours, and the boys had disappeared off to eat and to stock up on as much alcohol as they could possibly fit between three cars. Sakura had let them use her baby on the grounds that only Sasori was allowed to drive it, and if there was so much as a fleck of paint missing, Hidan was going to be castrated.

Luckily, Hidan had no doubt that that was a viable threat.

Checking her reflection again, she spun on the spot to make sure that her ass didn't look huge.

She was donning a tight, short, black dress with long, lacy sleeves. Figuring that it was a house party and so she didn't need heels, she was in a pair of black flats. Her hair was wavy and loose, her eye makeup dark and smokey, and Sakura was feeling pretty good.

"Damn girl, I'm getting hot and bothered over here."

Ino had just returned from the bathroom, which apparently had better lighting for the precise art of glitter liquid liner, with Hinata in tow.

Sakura laughed at the compliment, giving a mocking little twirl before eyeing up the two girls in front of her.

Ino, with her limbs that went on forever and hair so golden it was blinding, was in a sequined silver skater dress that probably would have looked trashy on most people but looked flawless on her. Matching silver heels elongated her legs even further, and her hair was twisted into the most artful bun Sakura had ever seen.

Ino was the epitome of a goddess.

Then there was Hinata, and Sakura couldn't help but drop her jaw in surprise.

Hinata, who usually wore cute little blouses with her jeans, or babydoll dresses, was looking downright sexy.

She wore a little purple vest and a black skirt cinched in at the waist, dark purple pumps and elegantly plaited hair. Her makeup, courtesy of Ino, made her face glow and Hinata looked more confident in herself than Sakura had ever seen her.

"Guys!" Sakura exclaimed, eyes flipping back and forth between the two, "You both look incredible!"

Hinata smiled and thanked her, while Ino posed and pouted and simpered.

"I love your dress, Sakura." Hinata smiled, grasping gently at the pinkettes wrist to examine the lace work of the sleeves.

"Yeah, and I bet Deidara will love it even more," Ino jibed, shit-eating grin in place as she walked around Sakura to poke her in the back. "A back cut this low means no bra, you slut. Guess we know what his birthday present is now."

The blonde then retreated quickly as Sakura took a swipe at her, before joining in with Hinata's laughter.

As the violet-haired girl poured three glasses of wine - that finished off their fourth bottle of the night - a commotion began downstairs. Male voices and heavy footsteps were followed closely by a sudden rush of thumping music.

"Looks like the party's starting without us, we better get down there!"

Sharing an amused smile at Ino's enthusiasm, Sakura and Hinata raised their glasses to clink with hers. Downing the ruby liquid, the three then checked their reflections once more before Sakura led the way down the stairs and into the growing crowd.

* * *

It was strange how being in a house-party full of strangers made Sakura feel at home.

The bottom floor was packed, univeristy students crammed in the front room and the kitchen, spilling out onto the deck and through the back garden.

Somewhere in this mess of people was Deidara, but she hadn't seen him in a while. He had left her to catch up with some friends, and since then she had been in the kitchen with Hinata, Ino, and a bunch of randoms. Hidan had taken up the title of reigning beer pong champion, and had started challenging anyone who came within a ten-foot radius of him.

Sakura had lost by one cup, and she was the closest so far.

The theory was that eventually Hidan would get drunk enough that he could not longer aim and Ino and Sakura would swoop in for the kill.

That was an hour ago now.

Feeling her phone vibrate from inside her dress, Sakura excused herself from the group of girls currently playing 'Never Have I Ever' and ran up the stairs to escape the noise of the crowd. With the slight decrease of bass came the realization of how drunk she really was, and she had to drop down to sit on the stairs as she answered the phone.

"'llo?" was what she managed to get out, and she vowed that she would slow down with the drinks for a bit.

"Sakura-chan, you're already drunk? I'm so proud!" The cheery voice of Naruto made her smile giddily, and she pressed the phone tighter to her ear to try and drown out the yelling of Bohemian Rhapsody that had suddenly started downstairs.

"Naruto! Hey Naru-chan, where are you and Queen Bitch, you were supposed to be here hours ago!"

Her voice always got a bit high-pitched when she was drunk.

The man laughed, and a wave of nostalgia hit her.

"We're outside you muppet, no one's answering the door. We've been stood here ten minutes!"

Immediately, Sakura hung up the phone and scurried down the stairs as fast as her drunken legs could carry her. Throwing open the front door, she launched herself at her childhood friends, locking an arm around both men's neck to tug them down to her height.

Naruto laughed and hugged her back just as tightly, while Sasuke placated her with a couple of pats to the back. Pulling away, she smiled up at them before grabbing two hands - one tanned, one pale - and dragging them through the door and into the sweaty mass of bodies.

"Come on, you've got a lot of drinking to catch up on."

* * *

"She's so pretty."

"Yeah, you've said that about five times already kid. Maybe you should just go and, I don't know, fucking talk to her?"

Naruto didn't respond to Kisame, choosing instead to remain staring over the back of the couch at the girl he'd only seen before in Sakura's photos. The purple-haired girl - Hinata, he reminded himself - was dancing with Ino and Sakura on the other side of the room, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

Though that was probably the alcohol's fault.

He was so focused on the girl that he didn't even notice as Sakura caught him staring, pulled away from the threesome and threw herself down in the seat next to him - which happened to be Sasuke's lap.

The raven-haired ice-cube grunted and quickly pushed her sideways on to one of his knees, eyes transfixed on the screen in front of him.

Of course the boys had started a drunken Halo tournament.

Seeing she wasn't going to get anything from Sasuke until he'd decimated the entire red team, she turned to Kisame. The large man was slumped in the sole arm-chair, nursing a beer and nodding along distractedly to the music. He looked like he was trying not to fall asleep.

"Hey Ariel," she probed, getting only a grunt in reply, "what's up with Romeo over here?"

It took a second for Kisame to fix his vision on her.

"He's in love with your little purple friend," he sang, head lolling back against the chair.

Realising that was all she was going to get, she nudged at Naruto repeatedly until he finally looked up at her - it only took 18 nudges.

"Oh hey Sak'ra, whassup?"

"Since when did you have a thing for quiet girls with purple hair?"

The grin on Sakura's face was that scary one she got when she was plotting, and the only bit of Naruto's brain that had any sense left tried to tell the rest of him to run far and fast.

"Why, Sakura, I have absolutely positively no idea of what you could possibly be referring to."

The girl in question rolled her eyes at her idiotic, drunken mess of a friend and reached out to ruffle his sun-kissed hair. Standing up, she ignored the indignant protests from Sasuke telling her to move out of the way and locked her eyes with the blonde.

"She'll like you, Naruto. Talk to her." She raised her eyebrows meaningfully, hoping the blonde was paying any amount of attention to her, before turning to leave in search of Deidara.

Luckily, it didn't take long as the blonde was currently in the middle of a crowd, whooping Hidan's ass at the most aggressive and elaborate game of beer pong she'd ever seen.

She was pretty sure the players didn't usually have 21 cups each, but who was she to judge?

Unfortunately for her, she was going to have to spoil the fun, as the clock on the wall was ticking ever closer to midnight. Hoisting herself up onto a kitchen counter so she could see above the crowd, she locked an intense stare onto the silver head of hair. After about twenty seconds, Hidan glanced up in the midst of his victory dance and caught her eye.

Sakura pointed quickly at the clock above her head, and understanding broke out on his face. Grinning, he caught the ball that Deidara had just thrown at his cups.

"Alright everyone, listen up! It's nearly birthday boy's birthday, so everyone out on the deck. You're going to want to see this shit!"

Hidan's voice carried, somehow, over the music and it wasn't long before the crowd was pushing out the doors to swarm the deck and patio. A few guys in black - Hidan's friends who she had hired to do this who were probably absolutely legitimate - were wandering around the bottom half of the garden, separated from the party goers by a temporary fence. On the other side of the deck stood a giggling Hinata and a bashful Naruto that had Sakura's heart melting.

A hand found hers, and she was met with bright blue eyes and a confused look.

"What's going on?"

Sakura merely hummed in response, pulling Deidara close enough to bury into him with her arms around his waist and her head against his chest. From there, she could feel the laugh that vibrated through his chest.

"I thought I said no presents, and no stupid money spending?"

She grinned up at him as his arms wrapped around her shoulders.

"And I thought I said I wasn't going to listen to you?"

Just then, a boom shattered the noise of the crowd and blue light sparked across the black sky.

Deidara was immediately transfixed, eyes wide as he stared at the fireworks exploding above them. Oohs and Ahhs rang out from the people around them, but it was only Deidara's reaction that Sakura was interested in.

Honestly, his obsession with pyrotechnics teetered dangerously on the verge of being a fetish. A fetish that she wanted nothing to do with.

Yet, she couldn't help but feel ecstatic as she watched his smile light up with the glow of the flames and the fireworks. Eventually, he turned to her, the awed look still in his eyes.

"Happy birthday, Deidara."

She reached up on her toes to kiss him, then pulled back to rest against him once more. His arms tightened around her, and they watched the night sky fill with the light of the explosions, and he couldn't help but feel that no other birthday would ever live up to this.

* * *

 _ **A/N -**_ So it's been a month...oops. Sorry, been super busy! Slightly longer chapter than normal in the hope that it makes up for the wait, and I'll get the next chapter up asap. Thanks!


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